It’s been 48 days on my no chocolate challenge. I started this challenge to break the habit of eating chocolate everyday and on some days more than my fair share. I wanted to tame the addiction, the ego, the old behavior that “thought” it needed to have chocolate because it was part of some routine and if I didn’t follow the routine I’d some-way suffer. I learned a lot about myself this time around on my no chocolate challenge. In the past I would go at least a week or two without the delicious rich coco bean, but always fall back into it delicious temptation of creamy, dark, salted, caramel sweetness.
This challenge was more than just quitting chocolate, it was about learning to pay more attention to my thoughts and feelings, not just shove food into my mouth just because I thought I was hungry. Then during a moment of self doubt I was introduced to a food addiction writer, Geneen Roth and something clicked for me when reading two of her books. It made sense to me that even though I understand meditation, the higher power and enlightenment, I wasn’t really letting go of things that seemed to be holding on to me that I was not aware of, like boredom. Even though I wasn’t board my ego was and then I’d find myself eating another granola bar, or find some mints in my drawer to chomp on, get another tea, or chew some gum. Chocolate was just my go to choice of food that I thought made me feel better, but when my jeans became tighter and working out was more of a chore than part of my daily life style I knew something had to change.
Geneene Roth talks about The Voice, it’s the voice that tells you it’s impossible. It says: You’ve always been like this, you’ll always be like this, what’s the point. No one ever really changes. Might as well eat. By the way, have you taken a look at your arms recently?…Who are you Queen of the Universe? How many times do you have to fall flat on your face before you learn to keep your mouth shut?… From Women Food and God
You can call the voice anything you relate to, the ego is the voice for me and I know when the voice speaks it’s just thoughts and I don’t’ have to hook into them, but I’m human and I sometimes take the bait. However, once I start going out there, riding the arrow of thought I quickly ask “Who is thinking this?” and I am brought back to myself, right here and now. I am perfect just I am to be at this very moment. I am at the right place in my journey and giving up chocolate is part of my journey, because it opened the doors to other things that I need to let go of.
I changed some of my routines slightly; and after three weeks without chocolate, less candy and one less glass of wine, I started to feel better. I accepted help from nutritionists and started to take supplements that my body was asking for, like liquid omega 3 and within a week I could feel and see a difference in my body and mind. better. I felt the haze that was hovering over my mind slowly lift.
Now 50 days without chocolate I am transforming as I have intended, to live a clear and clean life. I’m not saying that not eating chocolate with bring you to enlightenment, but it was part of my journey and I’m grateful for this experience to learn from, to share and to be, just like my daily prayer to the universe, “I am grateful to be alive to accept today’s gifts to learn, to share, to be.”
Until next time my friends…keep on typing.