It is Sunday mid-morning and I am tired. We hosted a dinner party last night and today I feel drained. I should be honest, it wasn’t a big dinner party where we dressed up and had a four-course dinner. It was our monthly get together with good friends and we have been making dishes from the Thug Kitchen cookbook. If you haven’t heard of this cookbook, I highly recommend you do. It’s a great read and the food is so freakin’ delicious! (I could use the f-bomb here but I don’t want to offend anyone and I’m trying not to swear as much as I use to. I’m a Navy Brat, no explanation needed…) I love spending time with our friends and our dinner get-togethers fill me with joy. Sometimes I am aware that I need to be writing and last night was one of those times.
My tiredness doesn’t solely come from the dinner night, there is a combination of a long week at the hotel life and from not writing as much as I planned to. I’m behind on my Nanowrimo project. I let the ego sneak in and convince me that sitting on the sofa after dinner was a better plan than sitting in my writing room doing what I love. How does this happen after all that I know about the ego and old behaviors that suck the life out of me? I mean I’m sitting in my writing right now and it’s lovely. I mean that. I have a great view of trees and squirrels playing on the branches and from time to time the family of deer saunter by for their afternoon snack. Really why wouldn’t I want to be here? It’s like there is a vortex once I leave my writing room and another time and place takes over. Oh yeah, the ego. So here I am again with the same questions and frustrations of the old behavior that also wants to write but is better at procrastination and I am very aware of this.
I pick up my copy of ‘You are a Badass’ by Jen Sincero to give myself a kick in the ass.
Give Your Bad Habits The Heave-Ho: Successful people have good habits; unsuccessful people have losery habits. Because our habits are all the things that we do automatically, without thinking, they help to define who we are.
Yup, I totally agree. I can see that I’m on autopilot from time to time and the only way I shake out of this fuzzy haze is by writing. Once I get here on the page I am taken to another world, the world that I want to be in. The new habit that I am going to fall into is to get myself in my writing room as soon as I get home from work and write for at least 10 to 20 minutes, it’s better than the alternative. Not writing and staring at the flickering screen of Netflix or scrolling through Instagram to see how many likes I have on the latest picture I’m trying to capture people with. No wonder I’m tired, it can be exhausting trying to keep with the thing we ‘think’ we have to be doing when really we need, I need to be following through with what my heart sings for. Being right here on the page.
Until next time, keep on typing. . . .