After I hit publish on last weeks post about barely surviving the A to Z Blogging Challenge I wondered if I was being fully honest. I was truthful but what I wasn’t doing was really diving in deep with the rest of my feelings about the challenge and what journey it took me on. The path was sometimes joyful but other times it was a dark path of resistance.
I have recently bought a copy of The War of Art by Steven Pressfield, to have on my bookshelf. I’m sure the library was ready to cut me off from renewing it again and really a book like this needs to be accessible at any given moment when you need a little reminder or two. I love all the writing reference books I have collected over the years and I’m happy that Mr. Pressfield has joined my collection. If you haven’t read The War of Art, I highly recommend it. The first part of the book is all about the big R word ~ Resistance. One of the many underlined quotes I will share with you sums up the month of April and how I blindly walked away from my Work In Progress to join my ego on another journey.
Resistance will tell you anything to keep you from doing your work. It will perjure, fabricate, falsify, seduce, bully, cajole. Resistance is protean. It will assume any form if that’s what it takes to deceive you. It will reason with you like a lawyer or jam a nine-millimeter in your face like a stickup man. Resistance has no conscience. It will please anything to get a deal, then double-cross you as soon as your back is turned. If you take Resistance at its word, you deserve everything you get. Resistance is always lying and always full of shit. ~ Steven Pressfield
I can say the same thing about ego and really ego is resistance. It puts up a fight and tells you a whole lot of crap to get what it wants. My ego is on a major time out at the moment. I have been meditating a lot since the A to Z challenge wondering how I could do this challenge and stay true to my work in progress? I see other authors multi-tasking their writing projects or are the lying and struggling just as easily? How can one author have two or three projects on the go and then decide, oh I think I’ll do this month-long blogging challenge?! Yes, we prepare for it maybe a few months or weeks before the challenge begins. I wrote most of my posts a few weeks before and scheduled them on the right dates so I didn’t have to think about it. But I did think about the posts. Where they good enough? Where they long enough? Too short? Too Long? Enough content to be interesting? So many questions came to me during the month that I ended up tweaking some of the posts that led me down another path of resistance. A new idea for a story came to me – really!?!
Halfway through April, I realized that I did very little work on my WIP and I was angry with myself. I didn’t want to talk to anyone about my lack of productivity, or that all I wanted to do was go to bed and hide under the covers until the month was over. Wow, resistance really does bully you into your self-sabotaging old self at times. I witnessed all of this and I had to put a stop to the self-doubter. The ego had to be dealt with. So instead of getting upset with the new idea that came to me, I sat down and wrote the idea down, I spent some time with the new characters and their story and once I put it down on paper I felt better. I was able to go back to my WIP and really dive into the chapters that I needed revisions that I seemed to be resisting. Now, I am almost finished revising the last chapters and ready for the next step.
Do you feel resistance at times with your writing? What does it show up as? How do you take on resistance and put in the corner for a timeout? I always love to hear from you.
Until Next Time, Keep on Typing…