If I could write like the wind I would be writing all night! A version of a woman I use to know calls out to a version of me in a lucid dream.
Bam! My eyes are wide open. It’s 2:30 am and I’m ready to jump out of the bed and get to the page. I don’t get out of bed, however, I do lay under the warm duvet and listen to my husband breath as the words from dream whirl around my mind.
If I could write like the wind I would be writing all night!
This is my true self-reaching out for me in my dreams. I know this to be true – my true-self has had enough of me “thinking” and “doing” things that are not needed. I even had a little run-in with my car the same night as this dream.
I was driving home from work and I took a different route home than I normally do. As I drove and got farther away from my normal route I felt off like something was poking at me, like a little nudge, the gut was telling me something and I kept on driving. I came to a street where I did not see a single car and I thought I was in luck as this was a busy street. I proceeded to cross the street and as I come to the end of the road I turn my head to the right and in slow motion I see the other car drive towards me. Like in the movie “Jaws” when the shark is in slow motion coming out of the water trying to get onto the boat. I don’t slam on the breaks, I am somehow slowly gliding as I watch the other car slowly move into my car. My first egotistical thought was ‘damn it, I just had the car fixed and new breaks last week! What the hell!’ I took a deep breath, got out of the car and the guy driving the other car was as shocked as I was.
We check the cars and his rental car seemed to have more scuffs than expected and there is one scratch on my car (until I get home and see the passenger sides wheel is scuffed up and that’s where the red paint from the other car showed up – wait I think I’m having deva-ja-view as I write this, was all this preventable?) In the end, the other driver was really nice, we knew mutual people in the city and we left the scene knowing the insurance company would have to handle the other details. I am so grateful for no one being hurt. This is all that really matters.
As I drove home I have to admit I was a bit in shock. I wasn’t sure if I was on autopilot trying to get home to steady ground. But to have this statement about writing that very same night really has sparked something within, possibly shaken me to the core, okay it has and that’s the truth. I’m uneasy with my messy and lackadaisical ways in the past few weeks. I’m not impressed with myself or is my true self, the artist within, she’s not so happy at the moment and this was her way of grabbing a hold and shaking me calling out,
Do I hear her?
I am awake. I am a alive. I am grateful.
Until next time, keep on typing….