I am rereading Julia Cameron’s, Walking in This World, The practical art of creativity. Julia asks a question about a chapter on Sence of Boundaries and Day jobs:
Where there any other issues this week that felt significant to you in your self discovering? (Describe them) I have one that sums up my week.
This has been a hard week at work. I had to let someone go. “They” say the more you doing something the easier it gets, well I’m happy to say that this one thing that I do not practice a lot and it does not get easy in any way. I knew I would be having this conversation days before and deep down I was going with my plan of speaking from the heart and being truthful. Then five minutes before the conversation, my assistant and I chatted and I felt so nervous, like I was doing something wrong and my old behaviour was like ‘oh no are we making the right decision?!’ What ifs, should’ve, could’ves’ where flying all around. My mind was spinning and I wanted to run away.
I sat down with the employee and spoke truthfully and in a moment it was done. After the employee left the office I broke down with my assistant. I was emotional over work, which surprised me. I have had many employee coaching sessions, heard employees life stories, hardships, excuses, joy, and everything in between. I thought I was prepared for anything, but deep down I am still who I am. Caring, creative and compassionate. For that I am grateful. My assistant and I had a good chat and in minutes a new minor crisis occurred and I was out my office door putting out the small fire, but the lingering thought of the person we just let go trailed behind me, I still care about their feelings; forgive me I’m human.
So what do I think is significant to my self-discovery this week? Well the writing on the wall is very clear – I need to be writing more, but that’s just a part of it. When I go to my day job, there are days and sometimes a full week of feeling like when I walk into the building that my creativity is being sucked right out of me, much like the Dementor’s in Harry Potter. I am left with the feeling of leaving my passions behind and that scares the hell out of me. I talk to my team at work about having a good work-life balance and I must start walking the talk. Every day we have the chance to start fresh and as I sit here in the cafe with my friend, I am reminded that I need to sit my ass down and write.
Have you had any situations recently that have given you a A-Ha moment? What are you holding back? What type of work/life balance do you practice?
Until next time, keep on typing. . . .