Fear – are you really afraid?

natalie

This is one of my favorite quotes from Natalie Goldberg. These words could not be more true for me. As a memorist I am writing what scares me, what I’m afraid of, and the truth is, that I can go deeper into my fear because I am aware of the fear, but I am not the fear. That’s the difference. The fear doesn’t consume me, it may slow me down from time to time, but I am aware and that fear turns into anger and Julia Cameron says to use that anger to write, and here I am writing.

pen

Last week I really got mad with myself, “Okay Marion Ann, a year ago you were saying that you would finish this book and a year ago you said when you got back from Nova Scotia (family vacation), you would finish the book.  A year has gone by and you are in the same place, feeling like you’ve wasted another year on what?! Get to it!”

Little girl with hands of hips, yelling

Sound familiar? Have you had similar talks with yourself. I am so aware that my higher self, or what I like to call her, a smart ass guardian angel is standing with hands on hips having a stern talk with me. I get it, I really do. So, this weekend, I sat down and finished formatting and editing my manuscript and it is completed! It took about 12 hours of work, but it actually felt like a blink of an eye when I finished. It never feels like work when you love what you’re doing.

 

cute-hallelujah-gif-212

What am I doing with my manuscript now? Well, I’m going to send it off to publishers and move forward. I have faith that creativity will take care of what is needed and I’m open to edits and changes to help my work to be shared with the readers. I write to share the creativity, creativity has chosen me to work with and it deserves to be shared.

Until next time, keep on typing . . . .

typewriter1

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Fear – are you really afraid?

  1. I love that quote from Natalie Goldberg. It makes a lot of sense. Writing about what scares us takes away the grip that held onto us for however long we’ve let it.

    As far as having those talks, I’ve had them before. In this year alone, I’ve talked about writing a novel and writing a short story series to publish on my blog. Neither has happened. In fact, I decided to scrap those ideas. At some point, I may come back to them, but I feel like now is not the time. I think I let fear of the unknown paralyze me and keep me from doing what I wanted to do.

    I’m trying to not let the unknown get to me. I’m trying to be courageous and write. I’m sure there will be something big that I’ll want to take on. I think the powers that be will let me know when the time is right. In the meantime, I’ll keep writing, as you suggest.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s