Do you ever feel like your stuck in a place that your true self feels at it’s limits? Feeling like Alice, in Alice in Wonderland when she out grows the house, unable to go anywhere without busting the ceiling. Or maybe it’s just an awareness that you know you are to be doing something different and not ignoring your passions. It’s not that I’m ignoring or avoiding my passion, I have to be realistic, there is rent to pay, food to buy to nourish our bodies and other day-to-day things that cost and there is a sense of need to have money to pay for these things. I get that, and I also understand that everything is happening for a reason, and I’m on the right path, however sometimes a little part of me, that old behavior, the ego, calls out wanting to know what to do, why is this happening and how can it get to the future faster.
I am very aware this is all self-talk and I need to take a deep breath and be present in this moment and keep writing. Sometimes, I let my inner child take charge and see where we are led, like the affirmation ‘as I create and listen, I am being led.’ My inner child knows secrets of how to overcome the self-talk. I trust she and the universe is leading me on the right path.
Inner malcontent actually triggers outer change – if we are willing to listen to our malcontent with an open mind and listen to what will feel like a wave of irrational promptings. Those oddball, harebrained, nonlinear, and screwball itches, hunches, and urges are the path through the briar patch. Follow your strange creative cravings and you will be led into change a step at a time. ~ Julia Cameron
I’ve followed and listened to my inner guide (inner child, however you want to label it) and I’ve had some pretty amazing experiences and continue to listen, maybe not as much as I use to and that’s what I need to pay attention to. Maybe it’s time to follow my creative itches more seriously. I mean just go for it. I owe my true self that much. Do I jump into an idea that will fulfill my creative heart? Why not? The fear of not having enough money, but guess what….the universe will provide just like it has been all this time, so I must stay optimist about my creativity, I mean I have this great idea and it’s begging to be written, so I started to put it on the page and I felt alive with every word, every conversation the characters are having, it’s all very exciting. Julia Cameron shared a little bit about optimism;
Optimism is an elected attitude, a form of emotional courage. It is a habit that can and must be learned if we are to survive as artists. So often, “things” look so bleak. In order to survive disappointments, we must master optimism, not as a form of denial but as a deeply rooted farther that we are somehow partnered in ways that we cannot see. We must look for the silver lining, knowing that there always is one.
What is your silver lining? I take refuge in meditation, quiet the mind, to hear the deeply rooted messages that have been placed within me from the beginning. I just need to listen a little more and write even more.
I know I continue writing about my creative pilgrimage and it is a journey, every day I am blessed with a fresh start to begin again. To keep writing and sharing. I wish to share with you and I hope you’ll share with me.
Until next time, keep on typing….