I’m back from vacation. I had an amazing time off and so very grateful to have the opportunity to have such a long vacation; if you’re going to fly across the country to the east coast then it should be for a good period of time. I don’t know about you but for me it takes at least a few days or week to even feel like I’m on vacation. We flew out on a Sunday and by Wednesday I finally felt like I was on vacation, realizing I didn’t need to at work or go grocery shopping, I have nothing to do by enjoy my time off.
I fully intended to do some writing during my time off, but deep down I knew that I might be distracted with exploring and visiting family, however I really wanted to be dedicated to my creativity. that’s what I talk about all the time, keeping in tune with my passion. In truth I broke a few creative rules during my two and a half weeks off. I slipped and didn’t write for two days, then I did some writing, then didn’t write for another few days and all of a sudden five days went by without a pen to paper. Okay, that’s a lie. I did my morning pages every morning which saved me and kept me on track. My vacation was more about visiting family and each morning I was able to purge my thoughts and emotions onto the page. Visiting family that you haven’t seen for over three years can be interesting. My morning pages were filled with a lot of questions and frustrations of how family can be so, well you know, like family.
Honestly, I was feeling a little lost when I wasn’t writing. I was taking a risk by not sitting idle with my passion. I think about Vein of Gold, by Julia Cameron and what she says about safety and creativity:
Creativity is risky business – or at least it feels that way. Like anything risky, it is also enlivening. It makes us feel. Without creativity our lives quickly go flat. Numb to our feelings and impulses, we go through the motions of life but we avoid living. Sometimes it simply feels too scary to face what we are feeling. Sometimes it feels too scary to face what we are thinking. At times like these, we need to be cradled, encouraged, and accompanied.
When I wasn’t writing I was numb to how I was feeling about certain situations, but other moments I was exposed, my true emotions raw, right out there and sure it was scary to let my guard down, but my husband held me close as I watched my best friend drive away after a long good-bye and I love you’s. The risk of sharing is high, but the reward is worth the brief moment of fear.
Now I am back into my routine of going to the gym and getting back to work at the hotel life. It’s only been three days since we flew across the country and I still feel a bit jet lagged and the days of vacation blended together which was great during vacation, but now have made it difficult to get back into the mind frame of not being on vacation. The more important routine I need to focus on is my writing, I must sit my ass down and write, to maintain my creativity and give it the attention it deserves, it needs, I need.
Until next time, keep on typing….