I’ve been trying to think about what to write about this week, I’ve had a few story ideas find their way into my mind, by showing up at work, while I walk to work, when I’m at the gym, ideas and characters are always with me but I’m trying to be very disciplined with my revisions. I’ve been slowly working on my manuscripts revisions and wondering if I would have time to write a post this week. Of course I have time, I just need to sit down and write, it’s the sitting down part that might be a little difficult at times; sometimes writers have procrastinating tendencies.
This week I learned about an eleven year relationship ending just so matter-of-fact. One day they live together, one day they don’t. In a blink of an eye a decision of a life time is made. This girl I don’t know very well has been with her common law boyfriend for eleven years and for about eight of those years she has been paying for everything while he has been a full-time student. I know, I know…I don’t know all the facts but I would hear her give excuses, like I use to when I was with my cheating boyfriend. “He says it’s his last year…He said it would be the last time…He wants a double degree now…He wants one more fling.” Again, I don’t know their relationship for the past eleven years, only what she has told us and I have to trust what she is telling me is the truth.
What I learned about the break up was the boyfriend cheated and she was going to forgive him, they were going to work it out, then he comes back and says he wants the other girl to join their relationship, live with them and all three of them be a couple. I blinked and stared when I heard this ridiculous polygamist idea. But then I thought who am I to judge what people do behind closed doors? Still, a bit of a shock to hear about this particular situation. I’m not sure what I would do, do you?
The girl leaves, walks out and stays with a friend for the night. The next day she calls the boyfriend and says maybe they can work things out, but not with the other woman. He tells her no, that it’s over between them, she’s the one who left and it’s over. My old behavior of judgment and opinion rush in; I feel like he wanted to leave the relationship and was too afraid to hurt his girlfriends feelings of eleven years. I get that, but isn’t it better to be honest and say “you know what, something has changed…” I know that thoughts of my past relationship enter in and the mistakes I made actually brought me to this very moment; yes I wouldn’t have changed a thing because I’m not sure if I would be sitting here in Victoria, BC writing this post. I am believer that everything happens for a reason, and again I wouldn’t be sitting here if I chose to leave my cheating boyfriend, I would have left Jasper, moved back to Nova Scotia, and never have had the wonderful experiences after the relationship ended. I might not have met my husband and…. that’s a rabbit hole I don’t want to go down, but as a writer I look down the dark cavern because it would make an interesting story, don’t you think?
What does it have to do with the girls relationship ending? It’s just interesting how the universe puts people in your lives to show you gratitude, to give you ideas, to learn, to share. I am very grateful for my relationship with my partner, for the journey I’m on, may it be a little longer than I intended, but perfect just as it is, unfolding as natural as it is supposed to be. That’s what I feel deep down in my heart, body and soul.
Now, this girl, after three days is moving on with her life. She has applied for a new apartment, she is lining up new furniture, closing bank accounts, asking for help and moving on. For some reason I’ve been thinking of this relationship, the why’s, the wonders of how does one person just say one thing that might change life in a blink of an eye? How do we really intend to be honest with one another? I guess we just have to start and take the first step of faith.
Until next time, keep on typing…